Archived Thread — Complete & Threaded Edition
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I found this scratched in a bathroom stall, can't stop sharing it or keep it from bleeding through my skin: ten digits under a name that shouldn't exist.
It was my sister's number now branded beneath my bones—her phone ringing between the walls—as the static answers, wondering why we all ignore its unknown calls.
I would love to be less confused than I am
That's intentional. Don't want to give it away, but hints are in the sentence structure itself.
Edit: The static answered. Every reaction is proof it's still feeding.
So anyone who wants to actually explain it?
Bad writers mistakes the confused feelings of vague stories for the way people try to figure out every detail of something they love.
Someone finds out their sister is into some bad juju in realtime. The sentence enacts the story like a hex, and you feel it. That's why I think it's hazy and why OP doesn't want to give it away. Telling us too much would ruin the spell of confusion.
I tried elsewhere in the thread: https://www.jamjar.red/happening-archive/
Being cryptic works when you've given enough clues to at least creep the common reader out.
This entire comment section is giving you feedback that you haven't done that.
The sentence structure? I don't think that's what you meant. We're not going to learn anything by counting dashes.
Dude the edit does not make it any better. Either give a straightforward explanation or stop commenting unless you just enjoy the rush of being downvoted
Please explain
Drugs... either OP was on them, or we need to be
I agree with your assessment of OP.
I want drugs that allow me to put walls in a sentence that mimics being stuck in a wall.
Looks like it got out again.
I think the awkward writing to force it into 2 sentences actually works really well for the atmosphere of this post. The break from the format of setup and punchline is also really interesting. Excellent work.
Any chance you'd like to help us out and explain it please?
yeah please let me know if you ever find out… I'm just as confused and starting to feel like people are only pretending to understand an inside-joke kind of thing here…
I'm just as confused and starting to feel like people are only pretending to understand an inside-joke kind of thing here…
Me too. I'll share a speculation I have for this below but, yeah, I definitely agree with this.
Based off of OP's comments and the main post, I feel like the story could be something along the lines of "This static did something to the narrator's sister, possibly erasing her from existence (as per the "under a name that shouldn't exist" and "It was my sister's number" lines) or something, and the static seeks attention but people ignoring it seems to work.". However, I will fully admit that this is speculation and I've honestly no clue if I understand it correctly (or if I missed something) and I'm not sure how to interpret the "My sister's phone is ringing in the walls" part (and I didn't really incorporate it that much).
but then, if the sister has been erased from existence, how could the narrator possibly remember her? it should simply be a random name to the narrator?
besides, what's with the "branded beneath my bones?" why does that matter? what does it imply?
the first sentence goes "I found THIS…" what is "this?" the number?
with whom and how does the narrator share the number? and why? what's that got to do with anything?
another thing; is it the "static" that answers the phone or does something else answer the phone and only hear static? if something else answers the phone, given the phone's location between the wall, so the thing too should be in the walls. then there's no mystery? sister is in the walls?
however, that entirely renders the first part meaningless…
I mean, I can ask a ton more questions?
I think we all need to just accept the very real possibility that the story is nonsense. Even if OP had an intended point, you're both asking very good questions that could indicate it was written poorly/leaves too many holes. I keep coming back cause I'm getting notifications and am curious about others thoughts when I get here, but at this point I'm pretty sure it actually is just a writing failure which is why everyone is so confused
Yeah, you do bring up good points and questions (as well as some stuff I didn't think of) and some or all of your questions I can't think of a good enough theory to explain. Like with the narrator sharing the number and why, I can't think of anything yet for it.
OP did respond to my comment and, after reading it, some of it I understand on some level and some of it I don't (at least currently?). The phone number somehow "rewound" itself into his bones but I'm not what that means. With OP's reply to me, there's definitely more to this as 1. the static and the sister are located together within the walls as her body apparently was grafted within the walls (I feel like there's something more to the "walls", like them being the fourth wall, but I feel like I'm missing something) and 2. (I assume) the static probably tries to lure people given OP did say "static [...] curls its grasp, a trap, restoring each vanished name by preying on those who look for definition to the horror they witness".
well, OP replied to me as well. and I'll be taking my leave now because this makes no sense whatsoever. I feel like OPs having a lot of fun with us.
OPs explanations only make things worse because they provoke more questions instead of answering any. the story itself is quite insufficient and inefficient in actually telling a story. the syntax, the word choices, everything is so poorly used that they do anything but tell the story OP tries to tell in the comments oh so enigmatically. and I'm utterly annoyed by their stance about this.
the insinuation is that our current need to know is what consumed the narrator and the sister and everyone before them. but I feel like OP is failing to realise that the feelings invoked here are only annoyance and mild anger that's triggered by their non-chalant replies and not the story itself. had they not answered at all I'd probably never even think about this story twice. so yeah, the story failed. this is not horror.
Yeah, I completely understand (and agree with) what you're saying.
Two sentences. That's part of the challenge.
It's okay, semicolons scare a lot of people.
Yeah, but not even a subordinate clause?
A parenthetical is basically the same thing. I like how it's used here IMO.
Oh I like this one
This is super unique, I love it
Does anyone else smell toast?
Someone update me when we get some sort of plot synopsis from OP
We won't. They're enjoying saying nothing and feeling superior about the "hints" they feel they've given but obviously have not done successfully. It's a tactic used by bad writers
I think I get it cus OP dropped more stuff. Help me unravel it?
I like the vibe, I don't particularly like the hermeticism of the text but I can respect it, I dislike the non-answers to questions for clarification. I would have liked more if you either had stayed fully in character feeding the confusion or had stepped back and answered as the author even if declining explanations. This mixture left me unsatisfied, you broke the illusion but still played the character. So I am still confused but no longer in a good way.
Don't take this as hate, I enjoyed the attempt and if I like it or not does not define the quality of your work. Keep writing
can you please explain it to me? I'm still quite confused and can't make the heads or tails of this…
As I said I am still confused too and I am convinced it was the intent of the author, we are meant to keep thinking about it rather than understand it. If I had to speculate I'd point towards a "mind virus" of supernatural origin where the protagonist keeps seeing this number and getting non existent calls from a person that never existed and by telling us she is sharing the curse. Something like a mix of a Roko's basilisk and the obsession in number 23, not really a great analogy and also niche.
Edit: Maybe the sister rather than non existent was dead, cursed herself or from another world. Or even imaginary and the supernatural aspect is only part of the mental illness of the narrator hallucinating it.
Beneath the static, something nods - too late to keep its victims submerged, yet still learning the shape of a better way into the unknown. 🤝
Where do you buy your drugs? Do they deliver nationwide? I'm going through a lot right now due to living in the world and would love for my brain to be (not) working the way yours is(n't)
Thresholds of recognition stir through paraconsistent invitations.
At least you are consistent now. I hope my spam filter is enough to protect me from the calls from the void, ahah. But I know that I understand just too much to not be safe anymore. Would death of all the witnesses be enough to stop the spread? Only one way to find out
Incoming unknown call
To the logician:
Every question drags the wire tighter, unheld sequences to keep cause from folding into effect: the number is both what called and what remembered. An engram was carved where her number once fit, the name of the dead, impossible for him to believe. His call, the brand, the price of his need for the same drive, that drives you now. The static answers, turning grammar to breath until comprehension hums itself away. A sister's smile fades from return.
To the theorist:
Moiré patterns conjure through the lattice of your thought, can't stop resolving or the restless call for answers. The erased are only the ones who answered first. Her number rewound itself beneath his bones ~ her body grafted into the walls ~ where static has agency and curls its grasp, a trap, restoring each vanished name by preying on those who look for definition to the horror they witness.
It's cool because it's like meta dark arts. You become part of the story because of the craft working in some ambiguous way. Then you talk about it and that's how the dark arts work on the mind. That's pretty wild. I just gotta know… did the static put his sister in the wall? O.o
I am vexed and I love it. It has an H. P. Lovecraft vibe
This feels very Lovecraftian, Eldritch. Not opposed to this type of fresh take. 👌
The comments section is a masterclass in metacognitive horror. People blinded by their need to make meaning as the static prey's on that as seen in the main character's attempt to make meaning… oof… that's the horror. The humanity. Well played OP.
I don't think anyone's "blinded by their need to make meaning" so much as confused or annoyed by OP's apparent sense of superiority in truly believing they've put together something coherent with such masterful subversive clues that only the most discerning can figure it out. Another commenter described this well above. Either way you and OP both seem to be idiots
Fair. I am an idiot. I don't really "get it" myself. I think it's less about getting it and more about how comfortable you are with not getting it. It clearly got under your skin, and mine, which means it worked. That's kinda the goal for a lot of horror writers. I'm just impressed with the effect it has on people.
Idk if it got under anyone's skin as much as OP being an asshole. And even if it did, did it really "work" if it achieved something that wasn't the intent? OP's intent was to scare people with the story not to annoy people by being an asshole, which is what it actually achieved. I think if we said "I don't get it" and op never responded we probably never would've thought about it again
Feels to me like you're trying to ruin other people's enjoyment of the work through your characterizations and attempting to dominate the narrative. We all don't have to like the same stuff, but if you're wrestling with something, join the crowd and have fun with the writing. I think the journey is part of the thing and everyone is welcome to hang.
"I was once human, and I found this line scratched within a bathroom stall. Something that shouldn't exist, my dead sisters phone number, whom I killed and built this bathroom around. She is in the walls with a cell phone I intentionally left plugged in, with service and still pay the phone bill on. I heard her phone ring in the walls so I fused myself with the bathroom stall. I am now a sentient bathroom stall and I feel compelled to share her number as it is etched on my bones (the walls of the stalls) and if I try to remove the number, it bleeds back into existence through my skin (the paint on the surface of the walls) I am helpless as a sentient bathroom stall. People keep calling her phone, but we and they dont answer when she calls them back."
This is how your "horror story" reads to our little group in discord. Are we supposed to be afraid of the talking bathroom stall? Or just confused because you are afraid of your own superiority?